Fitness and health articles have been getting me down lately, so I particularly <3 this comment (on the Awl, in response to an article about how bacon is unhealthy – I know, right? – by commenter Art Yucko)
I'm supposed to live longer so I can do what exactly. Chew on bitter Styrofoam-flavored, dry vegetables with no dressing with my dentures at age 110? Consume spoonfuls of pulverized, steamed white-meat chicken paste with the assistance of a nurse that would probably rather stab me to death with the other end of the spoon and take all my money because they are underpaid?
I mean I hate to be a bummer! But:
The PARTY is NOW. Be sure to pay your tab and leave at an appropriate time!